I first heard the term “depression hair” from Amy who very openly and beautifully talks about her battle with depression. She basically used the term to refer how nasty her hair would get because she wasn’t motivated to shower when she was depressed. For me, it’s more about avoiding the deep conditioning. See, I don’t wash my hair ever. It’s catastrophically dry and so shampoo is NOT what it needs. Since I don’t use a lot (any?) product in my hair I don’t really have to worry about build up or anything. I use normal levels of conditioner whenever I get it wet and that keeps it clean and then I deep condition it at least once a week.
The problem is - all of this feels like a chore when I’m depressed. Like…can’t I just keep my hair in a messy top bun…forever?
No. Because if I got more than a few days without at least light conditioning, it starts to mat. BAD. And get’s worse the more I sweat. Last night? I found a wannabe dreadlock along my neck and it’s only been 3 days since I deep conditioned it! But I walk every day and this heat means I’m sweating during that whole walk and so my scalp is just taking all of that dry hair and matting it up for me to force me into an act of cultural appropriation by way of my matted hair.
So what did I do? I ignored it until this morning and then I coated it with leave-in conditioner.
WHAT? I just don’t feel like dealing with my hair.
This week has been kinda eh. I got a few bad nights of sleep due to dogs and kids and storms. Being tired always magnifies my depression. I still haven’t met with my psychiatrist because I called but no one has called me back and DO NOT MAKE ME CALL TWICE Y’ALL. And while I feel a little better rested this morning, I have to focus on weather preparedness because we have crazy storms predicted for the day and my Tornado Closet is also my Craft Closet and also the Big Bag Of Dog Food closet and also the Ladder Closet and so there tends to be a lot of work to be done if there’s a chance we may actually need it for Tornados.
(We also need to charge all the devices and wash all of the laundry and…listen…we’re all still scarred from 5 days without power in 2011, we like to be prepared around here.)
My point? Maybe I’ll condition my hair today. Maybe I’ll take myself to the groomer tomorrow to be shaved.
An unsolicited tip- if your doctor is on my chart or something similar, you can message them whenever and there is no phone anxiety. I refill meds and write messages on my time (which is often late at night or from the car while waiting for a teenager).